Thursday, October 06, 2005

In Stewart's Wake, Print Media Cancelled


In a turn of events eerily similar to those last year when Jon Stewart's on-air critique of CNN's Crossfire contributed to that program's cancellation, Johan Gutenburg announced today that the print media would cease all operations by the end of 2005.

The surprise announcement comes in the wake of Stewart's appearance at a New York Advertising Week event sponsored by the Magazine Publishers of America. The symposium, titled "Laughing Matters: Magazines Celebrate Humor" was a chance for ad people of all scales to listen to Jim Kelly of Time, Graydon Carter of Vanity Fair, Kate White of Cosmopolitan and Dave Zinczenko of Men's Health chime off about what a wonderful advertising medium magazines are.

The The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Host, the aforementioned Jon Stewart, gave the assembled editors the Tucker Carlson bow tie treatment before storming off, as angry young men do, to collect his rumored $250,000 fee for the engagement.

Given Stewart's history of being able to get things cancelled just by pointing out how sucky they are, it came as no surprise when Johan Gutenburg today announced that the print media will be optioning the whole operation by the conclusion of the 2005 calendar year. The spokesman for the famous printing press family said in a prepared (podcasted) statement today that "...we now see the writing is on the wall, or off the wall if you will... Stewart's reservations with the printed word are both true and funny - perhaps these two concepts are mutually exclusive."

Gutenburg went on to say that all printers, photostat machines and spare Selectric balls brought in to any former publishing establishment would be redeemed for two tickets to a game or the Major League sport of your choice "...just so we can keep these things off the street.."

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