Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Bill Simmons, Why do you Hate Steve Nash so?

"I hate to keep harping on Steve Nash's faults..." No you don't Bill. And I'll tell you why. You see yourself as a lunch pail, blue collar kind of guy. You say to yourself "I'm not the best writer in the world, hell, I'm not even the best writer to come out of Choate." And right there lies the rub. No, I'm not talking about Edward Albee (Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf?, class of 1946) being a better writer than you - I'm talking about the ridiculous, Republican assertion that you are a lunch pail kind of guy. You went to fucking Choate.

Now, what does that have to do with Nash? Who, by the way, also comes from reasonably privledged roots. Simple - in your anti-Nash screeds, you consistently single his contributions out versus other players on the basis of stats. What do you consistently ignore? Those WASP-iest of attributes, fundamentals and intangibles. In Nash's case, it is uncanny court sense, an inate ability to move the chess pieces around the hardwood in his head before they have to be moved for real combined with rock solid free throw shooting and great footwork. In your case, it is that special strain of effortless nonchalance that comes from being exposed, at a formative age, to a broad enough range of influences and references to both appreciate pop culture for the absurd, wonderful universe that it is - and put it in perspective in complete, if run-on, sentences. Just like your readers.

You have a lot in common, you and Steve. Maybe you're two sides of the same tuna sandwich with the crusts cut off. Like Batman, only directed by Ron Howard.


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