Friday, March 17, 2006

When You're Given Dogshit, Make Dogshit-aide!

"Dogshit", unlike "fuck", "cunt" or just plain "shit", is one of those words that rarely has a positive connotation (NB - I realize that entire women's studies departments have been built on this sort of analysis of "cunt", I'm not sure I could add anything to that.). People refer to the skiing conditions as dogshit, or as invective when referring to a film or a restaurant meal or any number of things. However, just the other day, while walking my dog I found a positive spin if not on the word dogshit than on its act of creation.

Simply put, spending a few crucial minutes a day - before bed or before coffee - forced to WAIT for a dog to take a shit teaches a unique brand of humility. You are suspending your day waiting for, wait for it, dogshit. Now, if that does not make you realize your place in the universe, and be happy for it, than you truly are dogshit.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

NCAA Update: Wait! I think I smell something!

News from San Diego has the NCAA tournament first-round games in San Diego postponed because a bomb-sniffing dog detected a problem in a... wait for it... hot dog cart.

In other news, Bungalow 8 was evacuated last night when a bomb-sniffing Lindsay Lohan was heard to be hot on the trail of something in the women's washroom.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Think "Clue" meets "Catcher in the Rye"

They've finally gone and done it. Yes, Gawker has introduced Gawker Stalker Maps. The pairing up of their reader generated celebrity sightings feature Gawker Stalker with the pinpoint accuracy of Google Maps creates a truly Chapmanesque tool for the celebrity age.

Usually, I'm the first person to snicker when celebrities cry foul over "invasions of privacy". It is part of the job. You trade anonymity for a life of glamour, leisure and possibly wealth. To my ears, celebrities whining about their visibility is tantamount to trust fund kids whining about their families. With one key difference - trust fund kids could, if so inclined, renounce their fortune and avoid all contact with the source of their anger (and funds). Celebrities aren't given this opportunity. Ever. Witness the inclusion of Sinbad in the same above Gawker Stalker Maps. Not that I think Sinbad's fall from grace was by choice, but I'm not sure his recent career arc justifies his being harassed as he buys Jeri Curl.

In short, I think this goes too far. Could even severely defective people have drawn up this movement history all on their own before the two data streams necessary to accomplish it were paired up? Of course they could. However, Gawker does have SOME responsibility when it comes to what someone MAY do with the information it publishes. It is fitting then, that in addition to Sinbad, one inclusion in the inaugural edition of Gawker Stalker Maps is one Yoko Ono, spotted at 18 Wooster Street, March 10 @ 8 PM. Alone, presumably.

PS - Gawker-ites, let me be the first to congratulate you on your very own episode of Law & Order.